Tuesday, 17 July 2012

Its not all Laughs, Roses and Happiness

I had a few comments on my blog last night and some emails alot of you saying I was a "super mum" and that I am fantastic, I am extremely grateful for such comments and emails and I am very happy alot of people read that post last night for alot of reasons.

But I was driving to work this morning and thought its important to share a few points for the mothers that read my blog last night. I do not in anyway want you all to think that I am a "super mum" although I will take credit when credit is due and I give credit to EVERY mother because it is the best, most awesome, shittiest, crappiest, unrewarding and rewarding job in the world I have ever had to do. Here are my quick points (I just wanted to avoid a big long story)

  1. I have cried alot since my babies were born, somedays in a heap on the lounge room floor, sometimes on the phone to friends or my mum because I didn't know what was wrong with my baby, I couldn't hear them crying AGAIN all day, I had no strength to change 1 more nappy or I had to go to woolworths covered in vomit only to realise it was on my jeans aswell as my top.
  2. I have laughed a heap with both of my children sometimes at things that are highly inappropriate like when my son said fuck last night - yes I know its bad its the first time he has said it but goodness what a shock, or when my daughter just told me a joke on Sunday that she learnt from poppy, "knock knock", "who's there", Major", Major Who?" - "Made your bum sore". Again highly inappropriate but I have been laughing to myself since Sunday about it.
  3. I am proud as punch and float my own boat when my daugter (6) received her star student badge on assembly that she proudly wears every day, but I get cranky when she spills a drink or her dinner or doesn't listen the first, second or third time when I ask her to do something.
  4. I have been depressed, at times I have hated being a mother I have drank too much alcohol on MANY occasions, I have screamed at my kids, I have screamed at my husband ALOT (!!!) over the past 6 years and now I have come through the other side and can see the green in the tree's and the blue of the sky.
  5. I scream through the week, I run late for work, this morning I was 1 hour late for work because I forgot my son's school bag for daycare and because I am toilet training him I had to go and get it and drop it off.
  6. My daughter went to school without her library bag today because I couldn't find it but she said "mum its ok we have enough library books from our other library at home" she is so resilient when I feel so guilty as a busy mum its days like this I want to tickle her little feet and kiss her nose so even though I was 1 hour late for work I am leaving 2 hours early to pick her up from school as a surprise.
  7. I try and have one on one time with them both and be the best mum I can, some days I fail miserably other days I look at myself and I am thankful for who I have become, for the mother both good and bad that my children and husband let me be.
  8. My son has seen me cry and wipes away my tears with his hands, my daughter cuddles me and tells me its going to be ok.
  9. My parents are amazing and I have learnt from them how to be strong, how to be a task master, how to play, love and how to support unconditionally.
  10. I am no super mum, just trying to do my best for those that need me the most, I sit here at work in tears thinking of this emotional Journey I have been on but without this journey I wouldn't have experienced and learnt so many things.

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