I had a few comments on my blog last night and some emails alot of you saying I was a "super mum" and that I am fantastic, I am extremely grateful for such comments and emails and I am very happy alot of people read that post last night for alot of reasons.
But I was driving to work this morning and thought its important to share a few points for the mothers that read my blog last night. I do not in anyway want you all to think that I am a "super mum" although I will take credit when credit is due and I give credit to EVERY mother because it is the best, most awesome, shittiest, crappiest, unrewarding and rewarding job in the world I have ever had to do. Here are my quick points (I just wanted to avoid a big long story)
- I have cried alot since my
babies were born, somedays in a heap on the lounge room floor, sometimes
on the phone to friends or my mum because I didn't know what was wrong
with my baby, I couldn't hear them crying AGAIN all day, I had no strength
to change 1 more nappy or I had to go to woolworths covered in vomit only
to realise it was on my jeans aswell as my top.
- I have laughed a heap with
both of my children sometimes at things that are highly inappropriate like
when my son said fuck last night - yes I know its bad its the first time
he has said it but goodness what a shock, or when my daughter just told me
a joke on Sunday that she learnt from poppy, "knock knock",
"who's there", Major", Major Who?" - "Made your
bum sore". Again highly inappropriate but I have been laughing to
myself since Sunday about it.
- I am proud as punch and
float my own boat when my daugter (6) received her star student badge on
assembly that she proudly wears every day, but I get cranky when she
spills a drink or her dinner or doesn't listen the first, second or third
time when I ask her to do something.
- I have been depressed, at times I
have hated being a mother I have drank too much alcohol on MANY occasions,
I have screamed at my kids, I have screamed at my husband ALOT (!!!) over the
past 6 years and now I have come through the other side and can see the
green in the tree's and the blue of the sky.
- I scream through the week, I
run late for work, this morning I was 1 hour late for work because I
forgot my son's school bag for daycare and because I am toilet training
him I had to go and get it and drop it off.
- My daughter went to school
without her library bag today because I couldn't find it but she said
"mum its ok we have enough library books from our other library at
home" she is so resilient when I feel so guilty as a busy mum its
days like this I want to tickle her little feet and kiss her nose so even though I was 1 hour late for work I am leaving 2 hours early to pick her up from school as a surprise.
- I try and have one on one
time with them both and be the best mum I can, some days I fail miserably
other days I look at myself and I am thankful for who I have become, for
the mother both good and bad that my children and husband let me be.
- My son has seen me cry and
wipes away my tears with his hands, my daughter cuddles me and tells me
its going to be ok.
- My parents are amazing and I
have learnt from them how to be strong, how to be a task master, how to
play, love and how to support unconditionally.
- I am no super mum, just trying to do my best for those that need me the most, I sit here at work in tears thinking of this emotional Journey I have been on but without this journey I wouldn't have experienced and learnt so many things.